Every hopeless romantic have thought of it: their first kiss. As young as ten years old, I was already dreaming about how my perfect first kiss would be. It would be at the perfect place, perfect time, perfect day, the perfect weather and ofcourse, with the perfect man.
My Journey started approximately thirteen years ago. I was at my neighbor's house watching Sailormoon. It just started to air every Sunday at that time when I was in grade four. My childhood friend, Antoinette and I were sitting on the floor watching closely to their TV as possible.
The story was this, Mamoru, aka, Tuxedo Mask kept dreaming about a prince
ss who had always asked him to find the moon crystal if he wants to regain his forgotten memories. One night, while sneaking to a masquerade ball, he found a girl closely similar to the princess he was dreaming of. It was Usagi. He immediately became curious and asked her for a dance. Skipping to the part where Sailormoon fought against the enemy, Usagi got drunk after having too much punch. Tuxedo Mask came behind her and carried her to the balcony. There, under the moonlight, he kissed her.
A certain chill rushed thru my whole body when I saw that kiss. At that very instance where I had my very first 'kilig' moment, love had been born in my heart. My sister would always tease me about that day. She said that after I went home from my neighbor's house sobrang kilig na kilig daw ako.
So that was the story on how I became a love-sick puppy. I spent days day dreaming about it while in class. It was one of the reasons why I had failing grades in gradeschool but nonetheless it is because of Sailormoon that I began to draw and became artistic.
Believe it or not, imagining a kiss with someone had been vital to my decision making process over my love life and friendship. This is how I sort things out with Ryan, Kevin and Lyndon.
To start of, I can't even imagine and totally don't want to see myself kissing Ryan. That will be a total "ugh" and "yuck". That is how I knew that what relationship I had with him is the total form of friendship and nonetheless. As you see, Ryan had been the best friend who I can connect with on a deep personal level and I'm happy to share this with him without any strings of affection.
Back in high school I had mixed feelings with Kevin. I clearly didn't know if I have a crush on him or if I was just overwhelmed to the feeling that he likes me (seriously Kevin if your reading this I'm just telling them our history.=P). But I can't also imagine myself kissing him. This is how I came up with my decision that I can't really force myself into a much deeper relationship with him.
I don't want to kiss any other guy because I only want it with Lyndon and up until now he is the only guy I ever want to share it with. I believe that in a span of time you will only think of one person who you can be ultimately be intimate with.
No comments:
Post a Comment