First Kiss: Christmas Kiss (Part II)

On my third year of high school I received a teddy bear from Lyndon for the third consecutive time that Christmas. He was not yet my boyfriend that year. It was the last day of school for year 2001 and we were having a yearly Chirstmas Party. I was under a very problematic situation back then and my spirit was really down that is why when I held my very first teddy bear I was really touched. He never forgotten to give me Christmas presents. I told Aileen that I was going to kiss him as my way of gratitude because I never really had given him anything since first year.

The day was nearly ending when I saw Lyndon and our friend Jonic going to the staircase since their classroom was located at the second floor.

"It's now or never" I thought.

When I called out his name and went towards him I thought Jonic would just head towards their classroom to give us some space, but he didn't.

"Shocks naman, nakakahiya, bakit kasi ayaw pang umalis ni Jonic"

But I didn't have any choice and I was really determined to do it. So I just talked to Lyndon saying "Thank you talaga sa teddy bear ha." He replied, "Wala yun".

I was only repeating that same line over and over again until I grab his hand, leaned forward and kiss him in the cheek. My plan was to kiss him and then run away. I immediately looked away and was about to run when he, with his very keen reflexes, grab my hands before I could even take my second step.

"Shocks naman!!!"

My blood was going up in my head. I tried to free my hand from his grasp but he was too strong.

"Uy, sige na" I was really blushing and couldn't look at him at all. I can't even remember what he was saying because I was totally embarrassed not only for the fact that I just kissed him but also because Jonic was standing just a meter away from us and had seen the whole scenario! It was double the embarrassment. Jeez.

First Kiss: The Beginning (Part I)

Every hopeless romantic have thought of it: their first kiss. As young as ten years old, I was already dreaming about how my perfect first kiss would be. It would be at the perfect place, perfect time, perfect day, the perfect weather and ofcourse, with the perfect man.

My Journey started approximately thirteen years ago. I was at my neighbor's house watching Sailormoon. It just started to air every Sunday at that time when I was in grade four. My childhood friend, Antoinette and I were sitting on the floor watching closely to their TV as possible.

The story was this, Mamoru, aka, Tuxedo Mask kept dreaming about a princess who had always asked him to find the moon crystal if he wants to regain his forgotten memories. One night, while sneaking to a masquerade ball, he found a girl closely similar to the princess he was dreaming of. It was Usagi. He immediately became curious and asked her for a dance. Skipping to the part where Sailormoon fought against the enemy, Usagi got drunk after having too much punch. Tuxedo Mask came behind her and carried her to the balcony. There, under the moonlight, he kissed her.

A certain chill rushed thru my whole body when I saw that kiss. At that very instance where I had my very first 'kilig' moment, love had been born in my heart. My sister would always tease me about that day. She said that after I went home from my neighbor's house sobrang kilig na kilig daw ako.

So that was the story on how I became a love-sick puppy. I spent days day dreaming about it while in class. It was one of the reasons why I had failing grades in gradeschool but nonetheless it is because of Sailormoon that I began to draw and became artistic.

Believe it or not, imagining a kiss with someone had been vital to my decision making process over my love life and friendship. This is how I sort things out with Ryan, Kevin and Lyndon.

To start of, I can't even imagine and totally don't want to see myself kissing Ryan. That will be a total "ugh" and "yuck". That is how I knew that what relationship I had with him is the total form of friendship and nonetheless. As you see, Ryan had been the best friend who I can connect with on a deep personal level and I'm happy to share this with him without any strings of affection.

Back in high school I had mixed feelings with Kevin. I clearly didn't know if I have a crush on him or if I was just overwhelmed to the feeling that he likes me (seriously Kevin if your reading this I'm just telling them our history.=P). But I can't also imagine myself kissing him. This is how I came up with my decision that I can't really force myself into a much deeper relationship with him.

I don't want to kiss any other guy because I only want it with Lyndon and up until now he is the only guy I ever want to share it with. I believe that in a span of time you will only think of one person who you can be ultimately be intimate with.

Nope, I wouldn't Settle for Being a Second Woman

Haha!

I heard a great news last Thursday, Feb 5, at Kevin’s house.=) One of my friend is going to have a baby! Yippee! I’m so excited! Finally, magkakaroon na ko ng pamangkin! Whoopee!!!

Saya- saya….=)

I was just static by the news and kept me smiling until I went home. Then his girlfriend, Mj texted me. She was asking if I knew anything that happened to Chris because apparently he was feeling sick. I was confused. Chris told me that they lived in a different apartment and I’m not sure if Chris told his girlfriend that we guys met. So what I did was forwarded to Chris’ number Mj’s text.

Then Mj replied saying that she has Chris' cellphone. She threw so many questions and making false judgment out of it like when she asked if I have a crush on Chris! Oh my! Pregnancy is a sure thing that can boosts up paranoia, people better watch out when I'm the one carrying it!

At first I didn’t know how to respond to her. Bakit ako pa na natiyempuhan nyang itext ng ganito? Evan on the other line was saying “She picked the wrong girl to squabble with.” Evan knows I would fight back. If you bite me I’m gonna eat u alive!!! Roar!!!

But I understand her completely. If I was the one in her shoes, I would respond in the same way.

Before we guys split last Thursday I said toChris I wouldn’t take a dispute with her girlfriend even if he said she had a bad personality that he didn't know she has until they've been together for a year. So I didn’t fought back.

I replied back “huh? hehe… aus un ah..”

She responded, “Joke… cenxa na sa istorbo”. Jeez, I was able breathe again.

Wooshh.. Good thing it didn’t get ugly. I don’t want to fight with her because I really like to see their baby! Sabi ko sa inyo excited ako eh. So kahit na magpakahinahon ako just to have the privilege of holding their baby I’ll do it!=)

And Mj, I hope you’ll be able to read this, I wouldn’t settle for being a second woman. I wouldn’t double cross any girl’s property. Maybe sweet ako sa mga friends ko, specially with my barkada, but they’re friends! My bestest best friends! I hope u’ll be able to see the bond we guys had and you’ll be able to realize na ganun talga kami ka-close sa isa’t isa but not emotionally or affectionately involve with each other.

I hope u and Chris can finally settle things down. Kasi, I don’t want a broken family for my first pamangkin with the barkada.=)

(February 7th, 2009)

Follow up Notes:

My first pamangakin, Jaris Sarion was born on April 9, 2009 and undoubtedly we came to visit him. *wink*; )

Beating the Red Light

Life was a big joy ride for us, specially when we’re all together. we forget all dilemma, all heartache, our failing school grade, family problem and all that is pestering us from living our own life. we search for each other’s aid and soothe each one with care. we believe we are our own family, we are one.

So we had broken every rules that we thought would fetter us, believing that we have somebody by our side. we would never leave each other alone… never. but as we go on to this world, we realized that our plans wouldn’t be executed if we don’t follow the current of real life and then we begin again. hoping that this time, it is for the betterment of all. we once had fallen, but we can always stand up, and each time we learn, each time we grow stronger.

No more violations, we have beaten the red light.

The Long Way of Espana

It continuously rained that day that left most student stranded. When DEPED finally decided to dismiss the classes, it was like a battle field when we went out the school. It seems that the rain made the people morph to their monster mode. All people were aggressive to find a possible vehicle that can take them home. Catching and being able to ride a jeep was like that reality show on TV, a survival of the fittest. Yes, like X-tra challenge, and me, Aileen and Noemi were three of those very unfortunate contestants that had experienced the most unforgettably absurd yet hilarious game we called… “friendships: umulan ma’t bumaha”

It was the craziest idea that I don’t even remember why we decided to wait for a jeep at espana. We went walking all afternoon just to be able to catch one and certainly, you know, there was none. It was one bad luck for Aileen because it was the only way we know that can take her home while me and Noemi know some alternative ways to go back home. But we can’t just leave Ailh alone stranded. So we decided to join her walk home to Sisa.

And so our journey goes…

I couldn’t believe it when the water was almost over knee high. It was so hard to struggle against the flood current when we were still in our uniforms and I was still in shock when I saw Jayson that day. I had a quick Jayson-escape strategy! And hopefully, he hasn’t notice me run away like roadrunner in that cartoon show.

Any passerby would be devastated to see us three manangs in our long maroon skirts. Basang sisiw ika nga…Strangers would call our attention. Some says some awful things about us or embarrass us to our faith but we didn’t mind them. Nothing can distract us to our goal!=) no one can embarrass us! We’re not just girls, not even ordinary- we’re one unique independent girls that can take care of our selves.

It was in the middle of that journey that we haven’t felt that the pedestrian lane submerge in our path. So we fell, leaving our uniform totally drenched. =’c but well, who could have thought it would happen.=) It was that moment that made us laugh our being tired away.=)

Then it finally arrived that we spotted a tricycle that can take us to Ailh’s home. We cleaned our selves and ate when reach home at Sisa while still reminiscing that extraordinary experience. We called to our friends’ home number and told them what had happened to us. They were just amazed that we girls made it.

All else, that experienced made us realized that we care for each other so much. We love each other.=) though, men tell that girls can’t do things that they can do because we are soft and too emotional, they just don’t realize that what made us strong is this attachment to emotions that boost our will power.

It’s just a ring of bell to remind us that we girls can do it. There is nothing that we can’t do if we try. Besides, didn’t we tell you we’re not just any ordinary girl?