First Kiss: Christmas Kiss (Part II)

On my third year of high school I received a teddy bear from Lyndon for the third consecutive time that Christmas. He was not yet my boyfriend that year. It was the last day of school for year 2001 and we were having a yearly Chirstmas Party. I was under a very problematic situation back then and my spirit was really down that is why when I held my very first teddy bear I was really touched. He never forgotten to give me Christmas presents. I told Aileen that I was going to kiss him as my way of gratitude because I never really had given him anything since first year.

The day was nearly ending when I saw Lyndon and our friend Jonic going to the staircase since their classroom was located at the second floor.

"It's now or never" I thought.

When I called out his name and went towards him I thought Jonic would just head towards their classroom to give us some space, but he didn't.

"Shocks naman, nakakahiya, bakit kasi ayaw pang umalis ni Jonic"

But I didn't have any choice and I was really determined to do it. So I just talked to Lyndon saying "Thank you talaga sa teddy bear ha." He replied, "Wala yun".

I was only repeating that same line over and over again until I grab his hand, leaned forward and kiss him in the cheek. My plan was to kiss him and then run away. I immediately looked away and was about to run when he, with his very keen reflexes, grab my hands before I could even take my second step.

"Shocks naman!!!"

My blood was going up in my head. I tried to free my hand from his grasp but he was too strong.

"Uy, sige na" I was really blushing and couldn't look at him at all. I can't even remember what he was saying because I was totally embarrassed not only for the fact that I just kissed him but also because Jonic was standing just a meter away from us and had seen the whole scenario! It was double the embarrassment. Jeez.

First Kiss: The Beginning (Part I)

Every hopeless romantic have thought of it: their first kiss. As young as ten years old, I was already dreaming about how my perfect first kiss would be. It would be at the perfect place, perfect time, perfect day, the perfect weather and ofcourse, with the perfect man.

My Journey started approximately thirteen years ago. I was at my neighbor's house watching Sailormoon. It just started to air every Sunday at that time when I was in grade four. My childhood friend, Antoinette and I were sitting on the floor watching closely to their TV as possible.

The story was this, Mamoru, aka, Tuxedo Mask kept dreaming about a princess who had always asked him to find the moon crystal if he wants to regain his forgotten memories. One night, while sneaking to a masquerade ball, he found a girl closely similar to the princess he was dreaming of. It was Usagi. He immediately became curious and asked her for a dance. Skipping to the part where Sailormoon fought against the enemy, Usagi got drunk after having too much punch. Tuxedo Mask came behind her and carried her to the balcony. There, under the moonlight, he kissed her.

A certain chill rushed thru my whole body when I saw that kiss. At that very instance where I had my very first 'kilig' moment, love had been born in my heart. My sister would always tease me about that day. She said that after I went home from my neighbor's house sobrang kilig na kilig daw ako.

So that was the story on how I became a love-sick puppy. I spent days day dreaming about it while in class. It was one of the reasons why I had failing grades in gradeschool but nonetheless it is because of Sailormoon that I began to draw and became artistic.

Believe it or not, imagining a kiss with someone had been vital to my decision making process over my love life and friendship. This is how I sort things out with Ryan, Kevin and Lyndon.

To start of, I can't even imagine and totally don't want to see myself kissing Ryan. That will be a total "ugh" and "yuck". That is how I knew that what relationship I had with him is the total form of friendship and nonetheless. As you see, Ryan had been the best friend who I can connect with on a deep personal level and I'm happy to share this with him without any strings of affection.

Back in high school I had mixed feelings with Kevin. I clearly didn't know if I have a crush on him or if I was just overwhelmed to the feeling that he likes me (seriously Kevin if your reading this I'm just telling them our history.=P). But I can't also imagine myself kissing him. This is how I came up with my decision that I can't really force myself into a much deeper relationship with him.

I don't want to kiss any other guy because I only want it with Lyndon and up until now he is the only guy I ever want to share it with. I believe that in a span of time you will only think of one person who you can be ultimately be intimate with.