For Liberty

God I got it, this is not for me…

I got hurt being in my dream.
This is what I got for surpassing
What was really planned for me.
I thought this was the answer,
But I was wrong.
I failed miserably.
And the end result was
A completely shattered identity.

I quit!
No, I am not weak.
Who are you to tell me that I am not that strong?
Just because of these puffy, teary eyes?
You are judging me wrongly!

I quit!
I don’t deserve to be treated like this.
I am too sick of living this hell again.
Sick of the yelling! Sick of how you treated me so lowly.
And I am tired of you always pulling my self esteem down.

I quit!
And YES, I am strong!
Strong enough to throw away this dream.
To dust of every hopes of being successful
To totally erase those plans I have for my future.

Yet again,
I have to protect myself from a person
Whom amongst of the many who wants to torture me,
In living in trauma.
I’ll free myself from this.
I’ll save that little dignity you left for me.
This is not for me.
This is too low to even fight for.
I am not what you think I am
And I’ll never be loyal to you
Just because of the benefits, of the money.
I am not a paid slave.
And I’ll never be that.
I resign.

(November 25th, 2007 )