Long Distance Relationship

I heard once from a radio DJ that when you have a long distance relationship what bonds you as a couple is conflict. As he explained it, I came to realize that what he said was true, in a positive sense.

When I entered to this relationship with him a few years back, I never thought that I’ll be put up with this kind of scenario. It is more that I realize now how much he meant for me that this distance would not come in the way for me to break up with him.

Long distance relationships also have its Pros. It kept me from strangling him whenever he doesn’t see me- haha!. Well kidding aside, I was able-or rather forced not to linger too much from him. I found good friends outside our little circle, someone I can depend on and emotionally invests with besides him. It is the sense of having your freedom and growing your individuality with the thought at the back of my head that someone, just living in Batangas, is in-love with me as much as I am inlove with him.

But of course, when we finally had the chance to meet with each other its like reminiscing the feeling of how it was to be near him. A certain excitement electrifies me whenever he holds my hand after a long time of longing for him.

Whenever I am about to meet him I tried to put on my best efforts to please him, with my dress or my new hairstyle, but well, he doesn’t really care about my looks (he’s that type of guy).

After our average 3-days date we then go back to our single lives. It took me maybe 3 years to get used to the parting time. I remember back then when I used to cry seeing him off on a bus. There were always a struck of pain inside my heart. Good thing I was able to adapt. I just swipe off the thoughts of being away again from him and that made me go through with the parting time with less of the drama.

But then there are still the Cons.

If I were to choose from individualism over being able to be with him 24/7, I’ll freakishly throw away individualism! I envy my couple friends for the time they have that they can spend freely with each other. I breathe this solitary air at the thoughts that I would have wanted a splendid moment shared with him beside me rather than with a friend.

I would have wanted his opinion, his comforting words, his advices more than anyone but texting all my emotions, calling thru these stupid sim signal and the load allowance shortage were all hindrances. These are where our problems come in.

This is how the DJ explained conflict as the basic ingredient for a long-distance relationship.Since what is lacking from our relationship was that close interaction that formulates to the bond of a couple, our substitute for that bond were the conflicts.

He said, “Even tough you tell him all the things you did today he will still not be part of it, there in fact is still no form of bond made. Conflicts are the only thing that only the two of you share for this kind of relationship.”

Although he emphasizes the role of conflict in a relationship he didn’t mean for couples likes us to start problems out of nowhere. What he is referring to maybe a term I connote: “constructive” conflicts.

This holds true for me. After a six years relationship, I think what kept us was this so called long-distance relationship. It made that spark of love still linger within us, created those moments shared a time to boot-up and with a dust of conflict for a refreshing START.

Notes:

Inspired from Radio DJ Papa Jack of Love Radio 90.7. He's radio programs include True Love Conversation (TLC) and Wild Confessions which starts at 9pm and 12midnight respectively.

"my program..? its not a typical transformational show wherein you hear me pampering anyone, there is a right time to pamper someone and there is a right time to say what it is to be said. i will not hold back to tell you if you've been bad or the other way around. i may not be able to tell exactly what is best for you but for sure, i will make you see the bigger picture that perhaps you are missing. goodluck to all and may we all have a happier life."

-Papa Jack

You can visit his Friendster account @: http://profiles.friendster.com/49310473